


Things That Make us Feel

by chillsexual



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, M/M, Raphael has never had potato chips, Raphael is a cinnamon roll, Simon needs to get his head out of his ass, Spahael, Spanish, dress to impress, everyone ships it, i love these two, it's horrible really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 20:57:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6823819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chillsexual/pseuds/chillsexual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where everyone knows the two are practically married, Simon doesn't know a lick of Spanish, and Raphael has never had potato chips.<br/>Over all, it seems like the start of something Simon could get used to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things That Make us Feel

Simon's room at the hotel was bigger than his own back home. The walls were painted a dark blue color, paired with black carpet. A window looked out over the street. He had moved the bed into one corner and put up some posters, filled a small bookshelf, even bought a pair of curtains. He spent more time there than he thought he would, sometimes sleeping there after sending a brief _I'm alive_ text to his mom.

He couldn't blame her for being so worried and protective. Simon knew he'd given her and his sister a scare. Rebecca still thought he was involved with drugs. He'd almost laughed when she asked him if he was involved with any sort of cult. She had no idea.

Clary had told Simon he could stay at the institute, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. He was okay with staying at Dumort with the rest of the vampires.

The hotel was actually welcoming. The first floor was all marble floors and white furniture until Raphael had some new things moved in. The front doors opened to the lobby, which was still elegant and fresh with crystal chandeliers. No one from outside ever went past that, if they came in. One room had a big screen TV and comfy leather furniture where many vampires lounged. Another had been set with tables and a buffet bar of _special_ snacks.

Some vampires roomed with each other, but Simon preferred a room to himself. After a few days of spending time at the Hotel Dumort, Simon realized it was nearly impossible to be bitter to Raphael. He was a good leader, kind enough, if a bit strict. All the other vampires followed him without question, and Simon felt they would protect him with their lives.

Clary had told him it was Raphael that brought him to her, Raphael that told her the options, and Raphael that stayed the entire time. Simon felt she took all that for granted. She didn't trust Raphael, didn't like him. To be fair, Simon had really hated him before.

But the more Simon got to know him, the harder and harder it was to hate him.

* * *

 

"Simon, you do realize that most werewolves hate vampires"

"But it's really good Chinese food," Simon argued.

Raphael shook his head. "If you want mundane food why not go there yourself? I do not see what is so great about it."

"Wait- you've never had _Chinese Food?"_ Simon asked incredulously.

"I have been a vampire for years. I have never needed to eat human food." He said.

Simon flailed his arms helplessly for a moment, unable to find words. "You're coming with me," He said finally.

The older vampire took a step back. "I do not think-"

"I don't really care what you think, _amigo_ , you're going to eat some real food."

Raphael allowed Simon to drag him along by his elbow, glaring. "Do not call me that."

As soon as they entered the Jade Wolf, heads swiveled around to glare at them. Simon swept his gaze around the small restaurant, looking for Luke. The pretty girl behind the counter looked away with disgust. He didn't notice the man until he was standing in front of them, the distinct smell of wet dog and leather invading his nose. Heightened senses were still something he was getting use to, and he resisted the urge to wrinkle his nose.

"Hey," He said cheerily, smiling in what he hoped was a friendly way. The hostile look he got in return was anything but friendly.

"Luke allows you to come here," He said gruffly. "but this one will not be tolerated on our territory." He pointed at Raphael.

Simon felt Raphael tense up next to him, and carefully put a hand on his arm. "We don't want any trouble."

"Then leave."

Simon tried again, offering another smile. "But this place has the best Chinese food around."

"Don't you animals drink blood?" The older man scoffed.

"Animals? That's a bit ironic, don't you think?" Raphael said coolly. "I don't have any memories of turning into a dog."

He growled, flashing blue eyes at Raphael, who pulled his lips back to reveal the tips of fangs. Other members of the pack were standing up from where they sat, taking defensive positions. Raphael pushed him back slightly. Simon remembered the night of saving Meliorn, when one of the werewolves hand shoved into him and suddenly Raphael was right in front of him and the rest of the clan around him. In a split second it looked like a fight was going to break out. Simon felt the same thing was about to happen now.

"What's going on?" Luke pushed forward, eyes falling on Simon, and he could see the barely suppressed eyeroll. 

He waved meekly. "Hey, Luke."

"Greg, step down." Luke turned to the older man, who still glared fiercely at Raphael.

"But he's the-"

"I know what he is," Luke cut him off. "But you're not in charge. Step down."

Greg's shoulders relaxed. Sending one final silent snarl over his back, he turned and disappeared. Luke looked back at them, cocking an eyebrow at Raphael. "Let's take this outside."

 

"It's not my fault- he came up to us." Simon defended. He glanced over to where Raphael leaned against the brick wall. Luke had dragged him away for a scolding, one that never failed to make Simon feel like a seven year old trying to steal a cookie.

Luke ran a hand down his face wearily. "Simon, I know it's hard, believe me I do. But you have to understand that there are lines now. Lines that separate mundanes and Downworlders and Shadowhunters, and lines that separate the different Downworlders. It might get better, it might get worse."

"So, what? I'm can't come eat here anymore?"

"No, no." Luke lowered his voice, presumably so Raphael wouldn't hear. "Just refrain from having anymore dates here, alright?"

"Yea- wait-" Simon gaped at him once the words registered. Luke clapped his back.

"Don't worry, I'll let you tell Clary." He waved, and left Simon standing there speechless, mouth still open."

Raphael came to stand in front of him. "Can we go now- you look like you are about to have a stroke."

"I'm fine, thanks." Simon said, shaking his head to clear it. "And don't think this is over. You're going to eat some real food."

 _"Su nunca más contigo,"_ Raphael smirked. "You can try. But I have been told I'm arrogant and stubborn."

Simon ignored the Spanish. "I can agree to both those things."

 

**Su nunca más contigo- it's never over with you**

* * *

 

Simon set down the box of books and things from home with a small thud, taking a seat on the floor. He pulled out a _Captain America_ comic, leaning against the bed. The curtains were drawn tight to block the days sunlight, and the small lamp in the corner illuminated the room with a soft glow.

"-and then he told me to 'let it go'. Can you believe the nerve? The bitch thought he was going to get away without a slap. And a broken wrist."

"You use to be so badass, Lily. What happened?"

She sat up from where she lay on the bed, glaring at him. "I am still incredibly badass, Lewis."

"Ooohhhh, using the last name. I'm in trouble now." He grinned. Lily snatched the comic out of his hand. Lily and him had become good friends since he had moved in. She was more fun than most of the vampires, with her bight hair and brighter language.  

"Your always in trouble," She said.

He nodded. "True. Speaking of trouble, wheres Raphael? I haven't seen him around lately."

"Yeah, he's on a trip with Ragnor for a few days." Lily shook her head fondly. "Those two are crazy with each other. I remember one time they stole Magnus's phone and prank called everyone in the contacts."

Simon tried to picture Raphael giggling and calling people in funny voices. He couldn't. "That doesn't sound like Raphael,"

"Once you get to know him better, maybe. He deserves to have some fun every once in a while."

He handed her another book. "And here I thought he was a prude."

Lily whacked him with the hardcover copy. "He's a good guy, Simon. It may not seem like it now, but we all owe him. When Camille was in charge she had the clan addicted to mundanes on cocaine. Raphael was the one trying to talk them out of it, and the one caring to the sick and injured."

She sighed. "I don't even know the whole story, but everyone knows he's been through a lot of shit. More than most of us. So, just, don't be too harsh okay? Give him a chance."

"Okay." Simon knew how much admiration Lily held for Raphael.

"Great." She swung her legs over the side of the bed, standing up. "I'm starving. You want to come along?"

He waved her off. "No, go ahead. I'm good."

"Suit yourself." With that she was gone, leaving a small draft stirring the air in her wake.

Simon sprawled on the bed with a copy of _Treasure Island._ He had never actually read the book- but seeing he had all time time in the world...

* * *

 

"You've never had _potato chips?"_ Simon asks incredulously.

"Never."

He waves his arms helplessly, trying to express the utter ridiculousness of the situation. "But- you've been alive you decades and- how do you even _manage_ that? Chinese food I could accept, but _potato chips?"_

 _"Que no debería encontrar este lindo,"_ Raphael muttered. "How do you get so worked up over a mundane snack?"

"That is not the problem at hand," Simon said, nearly running into a sign. "the problem is that you have to be the only person on the planet, that's never had potato chips."

"And you have to be the only person on the planet that can annoy me this much," Raphael retorted, steering Simon around a young couple before he could crash into them.

He gave the older vampire a halfhearted glare. "Your kinda rude, you know that?"

 _"Por supuesto_ , of course. It's one of my many charming qualities." He said as they came to stand in line outside. Some people glanced in their direction, odd looks pointed mainly at Raphael. He was wearing a deep red dress shirt with a deep v-neck, and a pair of black leather pants. He did dress to impress, Simon would give him that. And he certainly did look good in the outfit.

Simon, wearing his usually and completely normal t-shirt and jeans, was dragging him to the small restaurant a few blocks away from the Hotel Dumort that sold cheesy fries. He had given up a lot of things, but Simon was never giving up cheesy fries. The restaurant was open late, and it felt nice to be outside with other people around him.

Raphael wrinkled his nose at the strong aroma in the building. Simon was mildly surprised to find the gesture- almost adorable. "It smells in here."

 _"Yeah,"_ Simon exclaimed. "like awesomeness."

"I don't believe that is a word."

"Says the guy that talks like he's from the middle ages."

"I am not that old, fledgling." He scoffed.

Simon grinned at him as they neared the front of the line. "Awwww, someone's getting defensive."

"You'll be defensive when I'm pinning you to the floor later," Raphael said, referring to the many times during training he had backflipped Simon onto the ground. Thank God for quick vampire healing, or his spine would still be bruised.

The lady smiled at them from behind the counter. "Hi, what can I get you two?"

"Um, two cheese fries please. Extra cheese." Simon ordered.

"Coming right up."

Raphael looked around them, scenting the air again. "This smell muddles everything else. I do not like it."

"Calm down, I won't let anything happen to you." Simon nudged his shoulder.

The girl came back with their orders. "That'll be eight seventy five." Simon dug out a crumpled ten from his pocket. She grinned widely at them as she counted the change. "You two make a really cute couple, you know. How long have you been together?"

Simon dropped the change as she handed it to him. "We- we're not, I'm-his jackets-"

Raphael sighed, the plastic tray and smiling at the now confused girl. _"Gracias,"_ Then he was dragging Simon out of the building non too gently, pushing him along.

"You need to work on your people skills even more than me," The other vampire commented.

Simon glared at him, grabbing a paper container of fries. "Shut up." Was his witty response.

 _"Eres lindo cuando su nervioso, aunque."_ Raphael said.

"You know I don't understand a single word you're saying, right?" Simon said.

"I know," Raphael smiled smugly, taking a hesitant bite of his fry.

"Well?" Simon prodded. "What do you think?"

Raphael was silent for a moment. "It's okay." He said finally, taking another bite small bite and refusing to look at Simon.

Simon grinned. "You totally like it,"

 

**Que no debería encontrar este lindo- I should not find this cute**

**que eres gracioso cuando su nerviosa , aunque- you're funny when your nervous, though**

* * *

 

Magnus's loft reminded Simon of a very fashionable therapist. Everything was always neat and orderly, even though the loft changed. One day it would be stone pillars and marble counter tops, the next bright tapestries that matched the pillow hung from walls.

Today one wall was made entirely of glass, and a huge island took up most of the kitchen. Magnus was currently doing some sort of magicky potion on the island in a glass mixing bowl.

Simon sat on one of the stools, watching the blue liquid swirl and froth. "Magnus?" The warlock glanced up briefly.

"How old is Raphael? I mean, how old was he when he was turned?"

Magnus put the small bottle he was holding down, sighing. "Fifteen. Almost sixteen. It was 1953."

"He's that _young?"_ Simon asked incredulously.

"Yes. The man who turned him was named Louis Karnstein, a very old, very powerful vampire. I remember Raphael's mother coming to me and asking me if I could save her son. She told me he had been hanging around with a group of older boys, older boys that listened to what he said. She asked me to find her smartest, sweetest son, her Raphael."

Simon sat quietly, waiting for Magnus to continue the story.

"When I found him, he told me he had killed Karnstein, along with his friends. He tried to kill himself that day, throwing himself towards light. I knew how he felt, alone and hating what he was. I wanted to help him, wanted to help his mother."

Magnus smiled fondly. "Raphael was anything but sweet. He was sassy, brooding, and plain rude. He was smart, I'll give him that, and brave. We came across a group of vampires feeding on a mundane, and Raphael, who had been a vampire for little over a week, starting lecturing them. I could have swore the other vampires were a little scared of him, and awed. He was a bossy, uptight teenager. I suppose not much has changed over the decades."

He chuckled softly at his own joke.

Simon sat quietly for a moment as Magnus dropped a small leaf into the bowl, turning the mixture a dark turquoise. Simon was sixteen himself, but he had always seen Raphael as a bit older. When Simon looked into his dark eyes he could see the long years of frozen life.

He wondered if one day people would look into his eyes and see someone who had lived a life too long.

Magnus had that as well, like he had seen more than one man ever should. Though he hid it well with wit and charm, and sparkling eyeliner. But sometimes he looked old, a little beaten down. Simon hadn't seen Raphael look that way before. Raphael held himself like a king- and dressed like one, really.

"What about his family?"

"After a while, he went back to them."

"Just like that?"

Magnus braced his hands on the counter top, multitude of rings glittering under the light. "No. It was not easy at all. But maybe you should ask him about that yourself."

Simon scoffed. "He already wants to rip my throat out. I don't want to give him a reason to."

The warlock cocked an eyebrow, smiling slyly. "No. He wouldn't kill you. He's actually taken a bit of a liking to you, I think."

"You're not very good at reading people," Simon said.

Magnus rolled his eyes. "Denial. It's the same thing every time."

"Don't you have your own problems. With a certain Alec Lightwood?"

Magnus grinned at him. "Oh, I wouldn't say it's a problem anymore. The only real difficulty is I don't know how to wash sheets using magic, and I do not really want to do the work myself."

"Why would you need to-" Simon stopped himself. "Oh! Oh, gross! TMI much?"

Magnus just continued with his work, humming happily. "You're welcome, by the way."

"For what? Scarring me for life?"

"No. For information you're too scared to ask for."

Simon paused in the doorway. "I'm not scared of him."

"But you are scared that the more you know about him, the harder it will be to dislike him. The fact that you could have feeling for someone you've told yourself to hate intimidates you." Magnus said.

Simon stared at him.

"When you've been around for as long as I have, Simon, you get good at reading people."

* * *

 

Isabelle sat on the arm of the couch delicately, crossing her long legs. Clary was out with Jace- probably making out somewhere, he thought. The thought didn't hold as much bitterness as before, he realized. He still was not Jace's biggest fan, never would be, he imagined.

Alec and Magnus were also out and about- defiantly making out somewhere. He didn't mind hanging out with Isabelle though. She had come off as unapproachable at first with her model body and sharp come, but Simon liked her. Her only flaw seemed to be the lack of cooking skills.

"So, you settling in at DuMort?"

"I guess so. Some of the vampires there are kind of assholes." Isabelle nodded at that. "Lily's cool though, we hang out."

"Clary's gonna be upset you replaced her." Isabelle joked.

"She'll be too busy with Jace, most likely."

"Ha ha. What about Raphael? He treating you okay?"

Simon rolled his eyes. "Yeah, he's fine. He let me decorate my room and bring some stuff from home. Still a ass, though. Training is hard. Raphael kicks my ass every time, never even wears a damn shirt, It's not like vampire get hot, or sweat a lot, so he's just flaunting his abs. And half the time I can't even understand what the hell he's saying.

I don't suppose you know any Spanish? It'd be nice to know what he's thinking. You can never tell by his facial expressions. I swear half the things I say bounce right off his freaking jawline or his hair or something. You'd think being around for a few decades would help with your people skills but it's like talking to a hard, pale wall. And-"

Isabelle arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at him, cutting off his rant.

"What?"

"Are you going to talk about Raphael's body all day? Not that I mind." She said, brushing hair over her shoulder.

Simon felt his face flush lightly with the blood he'd had before coming over. "I was not talking about his _body,"_

"Yeah, you sorta were."

"I was saying how much I _don't_ like him."

"Mmmmhmmm. Whatever you say Simon." She giggled when he dropped his face into his hands. "And to answer your question, I do know some Spanish."

He sat up straighter. "Really?"

"Yeah. Come on, what's something he's said to you?"

"You mean besides _idiota?"_

She laughed. "Besides that."

He thought for a moment, trying to remember what Raphael had said the other day. Raphael slipped into Spanish a lot, many times jumping back and forth between languages. "Um, something like kay eres lin-do?" He tried.

Isabelle burst out in giggles at his horrible pronunciation. _"Que eres lindo,"_ She said in a perfect accent. "Was that the whole thing?"

"No. I can barely remember that much."

"Or pronounce it." She said, and he smacked her arm lightly.

"Are you gonna tell me what it means?"

She smirked knowingly at him. "Well, if you heard correctly, he said you were cute."

Simon fell off the edge of the couch, flailing and toppling forward. He sat up and hit his head on the table, staring up at her with wide eyes.

"You're messing with me,"

Isabelle's grin widened. "Nope. Apparently it's not a one sided attraction."

"But I'm not attracted to him!"

"You say that now," She stood up gracefully, helping him to his feet. "Come on, there's a shop I want to go to."

Simon groaned. "Izzyyyyyyyy."

"It's your turn to help," She tisked. "Besides, you can talk some more about Raphael while we shop."

"He's a pain in my ass!" Simon yelled, following her out of the institute. Isabelle turned and flashed him a wicked smile. "Oh. Oh- no, Izzy- not like _that."_

"You say that now," She sang, looping her arm through his and dragging him along.

* * *

 

Simon pushed aside bottles of blood, to reveal more blood. He hadn't been speaking much to Raphael since his visit with Izzy, but this was life and death.

"Raphael!" A moment latter the vampire was at the bottom of the stairs, glaring.

"What." He snapped. He was wearing a pair of black pajama pants that hung just a tab too low, the gold cross still around his neck. Simon suddenly remembered why he'd been staying away. He had always known he wasn't really straight, though his infatuation with Clary kept him from exploring. Now he assumed the term  _gay as hell_ would fit. 

"What?"

"You called me."

He blinked. "Oh. Yeah, uh, there's no soda."

Raphael stared at him expressionless for a moment. Simon now noticed he was actually young, with wide eyes that at one point might have been filled with innocence, and curly dark hair that fell around his face.  "You do actually know that we do not need to consume human food." 

 _I know talking like Shakespeare should not be so hot._ "But I want to." He said.

The other vampire rubbed a hand down his face, turning to head back upstairs.

"Hey, Raphael." Simon called after him. He paused, looking back at Simon. 

"What happened when you turned?"

"Why do you ask?" His tone became defensive, eyes turning wary.

Simon shrugged. "Well, I asked Magnus, but all he said was that you were a piece of shit."

Raphael smiled, looking almost fond. He descended the staircase entirely, leaning against, crossing his arms over his bare chest. "Magnus found me here at the hotel, after I had killed my friends and the vampire that turned me. He stopped me from killing myself that day, and told me that my mother had hired him to save me. I told him it was impossible, of course. I could not be saved."

"Magnus taught me to control myself better, and to wear the cross my mother gave me so I could return to her, without her knowing the demon I had become. I thought myself a monster, someone she could never love. I remember I ran across holy ground again and again, torturing myself for no real reason at all other than the fact I hated myself."

Simon came to stand opposite him, leaning back against the counter. 

"I thought that I had no soul. The only thing I had was returning to my family, seeing them again." He looked up at Simon. "But we do have souls, Simon. We are not too different from humans, or Shadowhunters, or any other Downworlder. We still feel things. Even after so many years, there are things that still make us feel."

"I think I get that now," He said quietly. "What makes you feel?"

Raphael was quiet for a moment. "You do. You make me feel things I never thought I would."

Simon felt the breath he didn't need catch in his throat, and he was positive that if his heart still beat, it would have stopped. 

"What-what would you do if I kissed you right now?"

Raphael seems to consider it for a moment, dark eyes giving nothing away. "I'd kiss you back."

"Fantastic." 

So he does kiss him, sweet and gentle and everything first kisses should be, and when they finally pull back Raphael's eyes give everything away, all the emotions the don't fade over decades.

 _"Dios,"_ He murmurs, and Simon pulls him back in again. 

* * *

 

Come say hi at my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xdreamingnightmaresx)

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I love these two so much  
> feel free to send me prompts or questions!


End file.
